Spring cleaning

[legally_blond]

Free to a good home: condoms in various sizes.

Also some garbage bags if you want them. They're the extra tough ones that are harder for people to break from the inside.

Comments

[legally_blond]

Are you not interested in the free condoms?

Doing it now. Do we measure from the end of the bone or where the skin of the toe ends?

[xyzai]

Thanks, but we exclusively use jondoms.

Both. For science. I submitted a request.

[legally_blond]

Unfortunately I don't have any of those to give to you for free. Sorry, Crepe-kun.

I've come across a bit of a problem. My pro tennis player specimen is very prone to kicking when having his toes measured. This might take a while

[xyzai]

Throw free ones from a higher floor of your university. Make it rain on poor students.

Straddle him reverse cowgirl with his hips crushed between your thighs. Attack.

[legally_blond]

Oh, that could work. Maybe I should tie them to helium balloons and just spread them over Tokyo.

I'd have to tie him up first so he doesn't tickle me.

[xyzai]

Safe sex level: Advanced

Good point. Do you have handcuffs?

[legally_blond]

Would you like to help me blow up all the balloons? I'll treat you to cake after.

No, I gave my last pair away to a particularly annoying fellow a few months ago.

[xyzai]

I don't breathe helium. If you have a tank, yes.

Tragic.

[legally_blond]

That's a shame. I can hire one easily enough.

I know. Having to communicate with him again wasn't worth getting them back. They were really good one too, I'm a bit miffed.

[xyzai]

Get good cake.

I have spares, but they are police issue.

[legally_blond]

Some sort of halloween decorated one?

I might try leather, they'd look nice on him.

[xyzai]

Thematically appropriate.

Those are good. Deceptively gentle. Padding is important for tennis player wrists.

[naniwaspeed]

Is there something we should talk about? (*¯ ³¯*)

[xyzai]

Are you in need of education, senpai?

[naniwaspeed]

No! Who's the medical student around here? Huh?

[xyzai]

Then there's nothing we need to talk about.

[naniwaspeed]

Alright, alright. Just leave me out here in the dust~ It's fine~

(´ ε ` )

[xyzai]

I hope you get hit by a tumbleweed. And that little twigs cling to your clothes.

[naniwaspeed]

Why do you always wish such terrible things on me? Can't it be like... smothered in cake or something?

[xyzai]

Do you want to be smothered in cake while standing in the middle of the street, Kenya-san? I can arrange that situation for you.

[naniwaspeed]

Okay, yeah, no. Not really. Thank you! ヽ(*´∀｀)ノ

[legally_blond]

That seems much too mild. I'd be hoping at least for pointy things to get stuck in soft parts.

[xyzai]

There's no reason we can't make our wishes for Kenya-san at the same time.

[legally_blond]

Double the wishes for tumbleweeds, it might actually happen.

[xyzai]

I'll try.

Kenya-san, are you sneezing? Are you running from tumbleweeds?