legally_blond | Spring cleaning

Spring cleaning

Free to a good home: condoms in various sizes.

Also some garbage bags if you want them. They're the extra tough ones that are harder for people to break from the inside.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I... am not sure whether that would be entertaining or just incredibly weird.

Don’t call me that. Well I’m certainly glad to be safe from your joke garbage bags, I suppose. That sounds uncomfortable.

Should I offer to do a fitting session for him as well?

You're sounding particularly non-cutting today, Eishirou. Are you still recovering mentally?

No.

Oh, I apologize. You’re a degenerate soul and I will have to give wary looks to every garbage bag I see from this day onwards. Is that better?

Poor Yuujirou. I'll send him some instructional websites to help him instead and apologise I can't do it for him personally.

Yes that's much better, thank you.

I’m slightly concerned about the implication that it’s being made to sound like a live demonstration was a given before.

Menace.

... Did you need a lesson on how to put a condom on, Eishirou?

Darling 😘😘😘

I actually learned that in school.

You are within pinching range, Hirakoba-kun. Or maybe I feel more like tickling today.

I'm amazed you actually listened to that lesson.

Don't. I'm going to go put clothes on if you threaten me more.

If I can pay attention to and memorize mathematics I will literally have no reason to use again within my lifetime I can pay attention to skills I am likely to encounter in practice at some point in my life. Plus we had to demonstrate that we were listening by putting one on a banana. It was one of the stupidest moments of my life.

Then stop using those horrible emojis.

So I can leave it safely in your hands next time? Or would you need to practise a bit beforehand?

Oh I see. The disgust isn't towards being called 'darling' anymore, it's the emoji.

............……

Pinch or tickling. Pick one.

I'll give you some to practise with.

NEITHER. NEITHER. I'm getting clothes on.

You’re ridiculous.

You wouldn’t be facing such cruel dilemmas if you didn’t get yourself into these situations.

Because I'm trying to help you improve? How rude.

I'd like to see how you react if I gave you a shitty choice like that.

Putting on a confom isn’t rocket science, unless I’m missing something.

...Hirakoba-kun... I’m not ticklish. This is a very easy decision for me.

I'll try and be patient and let you do it next time, then.

I never said I was going to give you the same choice. An equally shitty one for you to choose between.

You make that sound like it’s a terribly tough to resist burden.

If you’re going to offer me a choice between that stupid nickname and those stupid emoji I am just going to pinch you.

It really is. I'm quite impatient.

I was going to let you choose between me biting your left or right nipple, actually.

You’re melting over the couch like a lazy cat. You don’t look impatient.

You’re a strange deviant person, and I’m not going to justify that with an answer.

I'm impatient about some things. Competency at putting on a condom is one of them.

Left, then.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Spring cleaning

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